Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Components of a Healthy Relationship

What are the Components of a Healthy Relationship?

For all relationships and marriages over 10 years old and have overcome challenges, I salute you!
By now you know that all couples go through ebbs and flow with their emotions, actions and conversations.  Some couples manage well while others fall apart.  

The intention behind getting together with someone is to remain flexible and respectful at all times.
Obviously there are plenty of examples of couples who did not practice this and divorced.  Don't be the next statistic.

Here are some reasons why couples do not make it

1. Communication breakdown = having topics repeatedly discussed without results which leads to feeling shut down and hopeless.  

2. Routine with intimacy =  spontaneity is gone and a reminder is needed to keep sex and intimacy fresh, flirty and fun....this is your reminder.
3. Finances = many couples hide behind concealed purchases, withholding investment information.

4. Children = are never on the same page pertaining to discipline

5. Time = lack quality time together. 

6. Friends = socializing with friends that are encouraging the breakdown of your spouses flaws.
7. Expectations = Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages. 

It’s time to open up and discuss the limits and limitless sides to your relationship. 

 1. If you and your spouse are in a spot where having conversations escalates into arguments, find a third person to be with during those times like a coach, therapist, banker, trusted friend or family. 
What about an email as an ice breaker?  Send an email to start the conversation and after two or three between you and your spouse start the conversation.

2. Fresh Flirty and Fun sex that is spontaneous can be a possible all you have to do is be the one to start it.  Roll play, dress different, wear perfume, nibble your partners ear, make suggestions at inappropriate times just to get the atmosphere to change. 
Intentions need to be met with a push. If you sit and wish you will get nowhere.

3. What about your money?  Do you live paycheque to paycheque, off lines of credit?  Who is the saver and who is the spender?  Can you sit together at home or in a bank and discuss?  The sooner you both reach agreements the better.

4.  Children are the love of your life but can change your relationship dynamics drastically.  If you are finding that you are trying to feed your child healthy and your spouse feeds what ever they can, create a preferred menu, purchase those foods, prep them ahead of time and put them into sealed containers in your fridge.  Or, create a go to list and post it. 

5. Quality time can mean keeping each other up to date with future goals, ask your partner what the next year looks like for them what hobbies will they want to take up and what they would like to see for your marriage and as a family?  What else is exciting in their career?  Find ways to communicate to listen and share your desires as well. If you do this on a regular basis you will be well on your way to feeling cohesive.

6. Any friends that seem negative or derogatory more often than positive, you may have to rethink your situation with them. If they have no luck in their relationships or thinking how can they support you as a friend? The test is do you feel good or motivated after being with them or do you feel like you have to rescue them and their situations all of the time?  I would encourage you to get out and find new friends who pursue goals and love life. They say we are who we hang out with.

7. Expectations will be met with resistance if they are not cured with acknowledgement from the first time you discuss it.  There has to be an agreement made verbally or in another form of validation like an email to achieve the relationship goals you have.

Book a date to have these conversations, be flirty with one another and become the person you want to see in your relationship who is happy with results because you made sure the two of you took the time to create something worth loving for.
Here is your 3 day challenge:
 Write love notes with appreciation
Say nothing negative
Make Love
Spend 30 minutes to 1 hour talking without electronics or interruptions
Post something loving on social media about your partner or family
Create a date for the following week
When you are willing to change your behaviour your partner will mimic the love back.

Start your day now and have fun creating this slightly new version.

Find me on Skype @ Shanon.Dawn  and follow my blog @

Periscope and twitter @shanondawns

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